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Relationship Advice - Get Your Ex Back - What to Do and What Not to Do

If you want to get your ex back after a relationship breakup, the good news is that in many cases it is a realistic and achievable goal to aspire to. Unfortunately some relationships are not salvageable, but if yours falls into this category I think you will know, if you are really honest with yourself. In this type of case the healthy thing to do is to lick your wounds, and move on. If however you feel you have a chance, then it's time to do something about it.

The first thing you should do in your attempt to repair your relationship is nothing. This means no contact with your ex of any kind. All breakups uncover some painful emotions, and it's best to let these subside, the only thing that can do this is time. You really need to let the dust settle. It will also give you and your ex time to reflect on what has happened, they may come to the same conclusion you have, and want you back again. This can't happen unless you give them time to miss you. Remember this saying "how can I miss you if you wont go away."

Once they have had time to reflect it's time for you to make your move. At this point you have two paths you can choose, one we will call the aggressive method, and the other we shall call the passive method.

Aggressive:

This approach has its risks, and depends a lot on your ex coming to the conclusion that they may have made a mistake by ending things in the first place. To accomplish your reconciliation using the aggressive method, you will basically begin to pursue them once more. Ask them out on a date, and seduce them again, just like you did the first time.

Imagine you are going out on a first date, with someone you have just met, dress to impress, act seductively. Keep the conversation friendly, you have a great advantage on this "first" date in that you know this person very well indeed, so use this advantage to its full potential. You will soon know if you have any chance of getting them back. This method works in most cases where there is any chance of a successful reconciliation in the first place.

This may be called the aggressive method, but don't actually be aggressive in your actions. Also if it doesn't seem to be working, don't beg with your ex to take you back, this never works. However you should ask if they will give you another chance, and tell them you want them back. If they agreed to meet you in the first place, then you already know there may be a chance, so go for it!

Passive:

If you choose a passive approach then you should also dress to impress. However the meeting should be an "accident," by this I mean you should arrange to be at a place you know they will be. When you meet you should start a casual conversation.

You should not talk about your relationship, but keep it friendly, casual, and general. Let them know by your appearance and manner how well you are doing without them, this will naturally start them wondering if you are ready to move on, and will invoke the most powerful of all emotions jealousy.

If they do harbor any feelings for you this will get them to surface.

Don't overdo the accident thing, as it could be classed as stalking. Also be aware that this approach works less often, but as it allows things to develop naturally, even if the passion never returns you could still end up with a lifelong friend. This matters to a lot of people just as much a getting back with them romantically, if this describes you, then the passive path is the one I would recommend.

If you decide to get your ex back, your path can be filled with many obstacles, but if you avoid the pitfalls we have discussed, you have every chance of succeeding. At the very least, you could end up making your ex into a good friend. You may also end up with a stronger healthier relationship, because of the trouble you have been through.

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Author: Tony Kitson

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